Introverts are people oriented towards themselves, inclined to introspection, deep thinking and philosophizing. Unlike extroverts, who are aware of themselves through the environment, introverts need to immerse themselves in the thoughts, experiences and dreams.
It is important to understand that introverts and extroverts are very different: they think differently, look at the situation differently, after all, one can even say that the introvert lives (in contrast to the extrovert) in two worlds. One is the real world, and another is the world of his thoughts. Accordingly, these two types of personality "speak different languages." One and the same word or phrase can have a different meaning for them. So, how to understand the "introvert language"?
Extraverts can not live without noisy companies and dozens of friends, and introverts feel great alone. Also, they feel uncomfortable among unfamiliar people, and getting to know the opposite sex causes a real stress.
Psychologists have found that introverts have certain character traits that many extroverts lack. They are characterized by such qualities as courtesy, tact, loyalty, honesty and worldly wisdom. All these are excellent qualities for a serious relationship. Alas, in order to get acquainted with the representatives of the stronger sex, the introvert will have to leave their chimney-corner and communicate with people.
Being an introvert and dating is difficult. In couples with different temperaments, it isn’t easy to reach the mutual understanding. When partners start living together, differences in the rhythm of life and tastes can spoil their relations. How you can avoid it? There is an introvert guide to dating, which will help you overcome yourself and avoid a lot of harmful introvert dating problems.
Dating as an introvert: rules and tips
Get rid of "harmful" gestures
As a rule, introverts masterly use non-verbal signs, which cause people around to subconsciously leave them in proud solitude. Pay attention to your non-verbal behavior in conversation with an interlocutor: for sure, you stand with your arms crossed on your chest, or cross your legs when sitting.
At the table, you try to immediately find a use for your hands: turn the knob, pick one visible crack, or drum obsessively with your fingers. Relax, put aside all unnecessary objects and look into the eyes of your vis-a-vis. Do not forget to smile sweetly.
A date - it's not scary
Numerous experiments have shown that extroverts are much calmer and more competent at interviews, unlike introverts. At the same time, introverts, cope with tasks much more effectively than extroverts. The same thing happens in relationships. For an introvert, a date is similar to death. But, having learned a person closer, he becomes the most caring and affectionate partner. Remember that any shortcomings can be easily turned into dignity.
Come out of the comfort zone
Meet new people, learn to conduct telephone conversations, master other skills possessed by extroverts - this will not only help the case, but will also contribute to the development of your personality. Think of techniques that can help you, even if they look unusual - the main thing is that they work.
Learn to challenge yourself
For example, do something new once a week to get used to the changes. One of the advantages of getting out of the comfort zone is that you get used to worry; so you will learn to treat something new calmly.
Combine hobby and communication
It's hard for an introvert to get used to a big unfamiliar company. In a noisy crowd, people simply don’t notice them. If you can’t overcome yourself and go to a corporate or a class meeting, visit a club of interests. It can be a culinary community, sommelier courses or a literary lounge. There you can devote some time to your hobby, get to know people who share your interests, and even meet a man of your dreams.
Don’t speak too fast
Consciously slow down your speech, otherwise you will look fussy and confused. Ask open-ended questions, don’t interrupt other people. If you can’t stop with excitement, drink water.
Make a compromise
If you have a relationship with an extrovert, ask him to help you acquire some extrovert traits. Set the rules for managing your needs. For example, an extrovert needs to communicate a lot with other people. Even if you try to be more open and sociable, you won’t be able to communicate as much as your partner. So let him attend various events without you, and you can spend more time being alone; so each of you will be happy.
Most importantly, saying to all introverts: in any case don’t break your nature on behalf of some social attitudes. Just learn to be versatile and flexible in life, but don’t break your own essence.
How to date an introvert girl
Don’t take it personally
Dating an introvert is hard, especially if it's a girl. Introverts can shrink into themselves to concentrate, think through an important idea or digest impressions. At such times they may seem sad, unhappy or angry. But this doesn't mean that they are really angry or sad. Emotions of introverts aren't always obvious, and you will need more sensitivity to recognize them. It’s one of the most important things to know before dating an introvert.
Give her space
This is another useful tip for dating an introvert girl. Because when she's alone, she recharges. Then she understands how much people mean to her. And your girlfriend begins to appreciate you more. She becomes better for herself and for others.
Choose the appropriate moments for conversation
Introverts acquire a reputation for slowcoaches. They find it difficult to formulate their ideas without a peep, react quickly to your question or new idea. If you want to talk about something important, ask the partner when it would be convenient for her to do it. Assign a regular time to discuss plans, problems and considerations about your life together.
Bring her over a simple date
She doesn’t need anything intricate. She just wants to spend time with you. If there is something complicated, it will make her feel uncomfortable, especially if there are many people. Take your girl to her favorite bookstore, buy her a coffee, take a walk in the park, watch a movie. Little things are important.
Respect her private space
Introverts feel calm, good and safe wherever the atmosphere is familiar to them and has long been mastered. For this reason, they avoid noisy, crowded places that they are unfamiliar with. But not only external borders are important in relations with the introvert, but also internal. This applies to their personal room, things or rituals. Never take their things without asking. Don't move the items that your girl uses in another order while she isn't at home. Such behavior can deeply offend and upset the girl. Because in her opinion every thing has its place. Therefore, she will treat the manipulation with her things as an attempted assassination of her personal borders.
This is a very common problem when extrovert dating an introvert. Your girl may well like to spend time with your friends or go to concerts with you. But for her, the question "how" may be more important than "what". For example, she doesn’t like incendiary Latin dances, but enthusiastically responds to a proposal to learn how to dance a waltz, where all movements are honed and graceful. It's always possible to find the third option, which would suit you both. But for this, you need to be tolerant and in touch with each other.
Introverted girls, the ones from which you always need to elicit information. And even after a successful acquaintance with them, they also go silent and taciturn. You have to take on the leader role in communication with such people. But if a girl is worth it, arm yourself with a lot of patience.
The main thing is not to put pressure on them. This will only alienate an introvert girl from you. Once you understand whom you are dealing with, then just communicate peacefully and pacifically, do not fuss, let your girl feel comfortable with you. It’s really important when dating an introvert girl. The main thing is to be patient for a while at the beginning of dating, and wait until she’ll trust you, feel relaxed, easy and cozy.
Introvert dating sites
Traditionally, two main categories of people apply for Internet dating. The first now doesn't excite us - these are those who have no psychological difficulties with new acquaintances, but because of lack of time or for some technical reasons, don’t have a possibility to expand their circle of communication. Another category is made of people with communication difficulties who are unable to establish contact with new people quickly and effectively, especially if it’s a person of the opposite sex.
Of course, we are talking about introverts - people who, due to their arrangement (but not a disease!) are poorly adapted to the implementation of the generally accepted scenario in establishing new contacts. Introverts want relationships even if they don’t have any special skills to acquire a girlfriend, a bride, and ultimately a life partner. Unlike extroverts, there are fewer events in their life which usually cause people to meet each other. So introverts dating sites make an excellent way out.
First of all, a dating site is a place where you have the opportunity to present yourself from any side. You can say to be smarter, prettier, better than you are. At the introvert dating site everyone can not only meet new like-minded people, but also find true friends or love. Dating sites for introverts give them an opportunity to communicate with people in a relaxed, calm environment, think about what to say, and speak without shyness and fear. Another advantage of such sites is that people can choose whom they want to communicate with and when.
If you are minded to find your significant other, but aren’t ready for live dating and face-to-face communication yet, seek help at these dating sites.