Lana Turner, the actress, had eight husbands. The seventh appeared to be a pedophile and was molesting her daughter; the eighth one appeared to be a famous mafioso and was killed by her daughter...
Sex And Dating - How To Find A Perfect Correlation
In the 50’s Lana Turner was considered to be hot as hell by both men and women. Numerous lovers, husbands, flashily feelings, criminal investigation… She was a nightclub queen. She had four movies with Clark Gabe, “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. Everyone believed that Lana was a nymphomaniac. And she, in the end of her acting career, confessed that those sexual rumors were far from the reality. Sex was not for her. Tenderness, dates, conversations, feelings BUT not sex.
Frankly speaking, at that time sex for a woman was important but did not bring her sexual satisfaction. Sex in the 60's, as well as those “sexual revolutions”, existed mostly for men. Women gained freedom, but not satisfaction. At that time (and even 30 years later) it was believed that most women were frigid and that the female orgasm was nothing but a myth. Even in the 21st century, most women still faint when they hear the “vibrator” word. (Okay, not most, but many people think it's obscene by default.)
The sexuality is a triathlon for many women. It brings dozens of obstacles, requires efforts, and is often followed by tearing. “And what about love?” “They think of me as a whore.” “No one will ever marry me.” Yes, it sounds archaic, but, to be honest, every woman has brought the question at least once.
"I cannot do this, I need to fall in love first. I need him to become my friend first", you often hear from women. No one, I presume, denies the fact that love and friendship with a man is fine and, of course, is better than a simple passion. However, the passion IS delicious. Why Deny Yourself Sex Pleasures?
Perhaps, even a modern woman still does not see herself outside the relationship, outside the plot. Men used to divide the two notions: sex is in a brothel, love is in a marriage. While women have thought of sex and love as a whole. They do not separate sex and dating.
Of course, everyone likes cuddling and kissing, almost everyone enjoys penetration but sex in general viewed more like a grant to a man. Women do worry about how they look during sex, how they scream, how they bite their lips, in what position they are watched by a lover.
- #1 correlation between dating and sex is HONESTY. Be honest (first of all, to yourself). Even if this is your first date, it is fine to follow your wishes. Besides, your honesty should reveal her wishes, as well. Why wait three days if both of you want sex to happen right now?
- #2 correlation between dating and sex is RESPECT. In case if you want to have sex with a new girl but have some doubts on the matter, you should make sure your actions (desires) won’t hurt her feelings. This is what you need the respect for.
- #3 correlation between dating and sex is PATIENCE. There is no need to rush. Don’t hurry your partner when it comes to sex, especially if you are new to each other. Besides, patience is always rewarded. Think about meals – compare what you get in a fast food in 5 minutes to what you get in a restaurant in 30 minutes.
Sex With A New Partner
Do not expect too much from the first time, because the first sex rarely appears to be enchanting. The partners feel nervous, they hardly know each other, and everything happens faster than planned. If there are no emotional barriers between you, then you will repeat the experiment quickly and will be able to fully enjoy the whole process.
Psychologists believe that sexual intimacy requires a spiritual contact outside the sex. You will experience great alarm and even fear if you do not have enough time to set the mutual trust on the emotional level with your partner. It often takes time. Many people do not consider it necessary to wait that long, and they hurry to satisfy their passion. As a result, they are disappointed and devastated.
If you are not sure about your partner or your attitude towards her, you can think that she is using you and will leave you as soon as she gets what she wants. Such anxiety does not promote good sex at all.
When To Have Sex With A New Girl
It is really difficult for partners to relax without trust, especially for the first time. Emotional intimacy is the key to not only good sex, but also to a stable and happy relationship. Thus, first of all, ask yourself a question: what do you feel about this woman. If this mistrust comes from the fear of being abandoned, it is better to put the intimacy on hold with this person. On the other hand, some people are not prone to trust anyone at all. Even if you did your best to get the trust of this suspicious girl, she won’t truly trust you.
The reasons for this distrust come from the past, from the unpardoned harms. If you have been offended and deceived, you will likely look for a dirty trick everywhere. In this case, you need to learn to trust life and other people. Do not drag past grievances into a new life, forgive everyone and live in the now.
Not always shyness or worries before the first sexual contact with a new partner is a far-fetched and ungrounded thing. If you experience anxiety, think if everything is good in your relationship. Timidity can signal about lack of emotional contact, trust, and mutual understanding between you.
Note: do not rush! First, make sure that you really need this person, and in case your answer is positive you should work on yourself.
Keep Calm And... take some time
In most cases you have nothing to worry about. Of course, the situation may seem quite stressful at first sight but the truth is – it is not. Women treat their partners with great understanding during their first sex. Thus, if her new knight has problems “below the belt” she is unlikely to show disappointment. They pretend that nothing terrible has happened. By the way, it is really so: men have misfires because of being excited and overwhelmed.
Thus, take your time and get used to your partner first. If you experienced such an embarrassment, do not focus on this. In these cases women do not say “Do not worry, next time you will do it!” directly. They pretend nothing bad happens. So that you don’t feel uncomfortable (men do not like to discuss this topic, especially with women). Some women ask this frequent question: “When do we have first sex?” Yet no one knows the answer. All of the ladies want to seem wise, not just cheap or casual. We all expect our first time to be something special. That’s an everlasting dilemma – humans stick to beliefs and according to them, others can judge you even if the sex was good anyway. Usually this problem concerns women only; you never hear this from guys who don’t want to look fastidious. Men tend to hop in bed whenever they feel like it, as it’s a call of nature to have sex with women they simply desire, so planning is not what they initially do.
Sure, there is nothing funny or immature about when to have sex in a relationship. There are a lot of studies about how first sex in a new-born couple can ruin the interest between you two if the night happened too soon. Such studies should be taken into account if you are worried about when to have sex in a relationship. If you let a man explore a certain part of your body after a first dinner, he might get what he wanted and then just leave. But some of them will actually want even more, as they liked a woman long before the bed happened. But ladies have a fear of losing a potential partner, so they start delaying sex.
So what do experienced sexologists think of it?
In fact, this issue, when to have sex in a relationship, seems to be quite easy to address. Everything depends on what you expect from a new man. If you want a person to become your boyfriend, not just a one night stand, then sex should not be what pops up in your mind in the first place. On the contrary, lust can distract you from perceiving a man in a right way. For example, if he has some physical assets, you might forget to learn about his outlook. Relationships usually base on something more than sex compatibility.
So when should you have sex? You want to have sex once you totally trust your partner, you feel familiar and seem to have some bonds. When we want to be with a person, we usually get to know each other better estimating whether the partner’s beliefs about religion, politics, hobbies, etc. are close to our own. And then, when we feel completely relaxed and cool, we have our first time. Well, you see it is of a great importance to know when you should start having sex in a relationship.
And yes, shaming sex after the first date is wrong on so many levels. It doesn’t make a woman approachable. It doesn’t make a man shallow. But if you want a commitment, you need to learn a person, it’s reasonable.
Female View: First Sex On A First Date
Sex on a first date in a new relationship – is it the 21st century reality or female promiscuity? Every girl knows the true answer to this question, and probably no one has the right to judge her, even if she considers sex on the first date to be OK. This is her life and she probably knows what she is doing.
According to a sociological research, one third of russian women had sex on a first date at least once. Surprisingly, more than half of them regret about what happened. Another interesting thing is that the probability of a second date after sex on a first date among men is only 50%.
Female View: First Sex During The First Month Of Relationships
Everything is different nowadays. Few people have their first sex after the wedding. Of course, it depends on people. Fortunately, there are some women who wait for a future husband and do not practice sex with anyone else.
However, women should keep in mind that a modern man will not last long without sex, even if he loves the woman madly. This is for women to decide when to have the first sex. Besides, it is more likely that the relationship will last longer and be more serious than if you have sex on the first date. Still the difference is not big. At least, psychologists say so.
Female View: First sex after 2-3 months of relationships
The most distrustful women prefer to torture their men during 2-3 months in order to check them out, so to speak. And to tell the truth it is a perfect test. If a man overcomes the obstacle, then the woman is interesting to him not only as an object of satisfaction, but also as an individual.
If a man withstands a relationship without sex for 2-3 months, then he is in love with a woman madly and is ready to wait, as long as she likes. It is clear that the man who counts on an easy affair, casual relationships, or casual sex, will not wait that long. It is easier for him to find another object to satisfy his needs.