How to Deal with a Bad Breakup: Guide for Guys
After a break with the person you used to be close and associate yourself with for such a long time, the devastation comes, and it may seem that you cannot get out of this state. But everything has its time. How to cope with a bad breakup? How to get out of depression? Those hard questions have relatively simple answers, and we are going to shed light on easy steps to coping with a bad breakup.
Going Through a Bad Breakup: How Not to Fall to Pieces
The breakup of a man with his girlfriend, according to the psychology of loss, inevitably passes through 5 stages.
Negation. A man cannot believe that the relationship has ended. Hope that the parting is just temporary has firmly rooted in his soul, and he is still thinking about how to get her back after a bad breakup.
Anger. Along with awareness of parting comes anger. A person is angry both at himself and his partner and the whole world around him in general.
Bargain. A kind of attempt to renew the relationship. Perhaps attempts are being made to reach an agreement with the ex-partner, or some deadlines are set for making a final decision.
Depression. When a man is fully aware that the final point in his love relationship is finally set, then the stage of depression begins. How long it will last depends on the individual character traits as well as on the desire of the man to quickly revive and live on, getting over this stage is the toughest yet the most vital.
New life. Sadness and apathy pass, self-esteem and desire to move on return. The main criterion for dealing with a bad breakup and starting a new life after parting with your girlfriend is the full acceptance of the situation and the absence of attempts to get her back.
Now let’s talk about 10 options for recovering after the breakup with a girl.
Of course, parting with a beloved one is a difficult stage in life, and dealing with a bad breakup requires a lot of effort. The situation when the other partner was initiating the end of the relationship is even worse because then the self-esteem suffers, the whole world around falls, and there is a feeling of guilt for the inability to maintain relationships.
How to handle a bad breakup and not become a victim of long-term depression? If a partner wants to leave, do not hold them back and try in every way to return. Analyze your behavior in that relationship. Perhaps you will actually see some of your mistakes and will be more careful in the next relationships and will not allow parting again. What are the main tips and advice on how to move on after a bad breakup?
- Play sports. Wearing yourself off physically, you will not find time for sad thoughts. Also during exercise, the body produces endorphins, which you need so much to overcome depression.
- Do not be alone, often meet with friends and spend time in a pleasant company. Prefer friendly support, rather than complete isolation from society. Communicating with the family also helps survive this difficult stage.
- Stop thinking about your ex-girlfriend. Clearly, you should not re-read her messages over and over again and endlessly stalk her account in social networks.
- These actions will bring nothing but sad memories. The faster you erase your common past from memory, the sooner and easier you will be able to survive the separation, find your new love(for example on this russian dating site) and start a new life.
- Do not refuse new acquaintances and dates. You need them to learn how to handle a breakup. Of course, you should not immediately build long-term relationships, but easy flirting can have a beneficial effect on your self-esteem and broaden the amount of attention you get from the opposite sex.
- Bring something radically new into your life, for example, make home repairs or update your wardrobe, take on the original hobby or an extreme sport.
- Keep your distance with the ex-girlfriend. Try neither meet nor communicate the first time after breaking up since such meetings will be too painful for you and remind about the relationship.
- If you can’t get used to living alone, then get a pet, as worries about it will brighten up your loneliness, a living soul will appear in an empty house, and you will get a new friend.
- Take some "me-time." Any relationship is a very time-consuming process. Also, there were probably such activities that your beloved didn’t like. Now you can disappear for hours in the garage and play your favorite guitar at any time of the day. When you find certain advantages in parting, this life stage will not seem so tragic.
- And final advice on how to move on from a bad breakup is to love yourself. You should not engage in round-the-clock self-flagellation, but rather work on yourself, learn to appreciate and respect yourself. If thoughts of your beloved one do not leave you for a very long time after breaking up, and you cannot survive the painful break, then consider contacting a psychologist and getting the help of a qualified specialist.
How to Handle a Bad Breakup With Dignity?
It's hard for a person to get over separation because chances are they still have feelings for their partner, as emotions do not disappear anywhere. But what is the main thing that needs to be changed? Learning how to get over a bad breakup means changing your life.
1. Get rid of everything that reminds about her
If your house is filled with her presents, the closet is stacked with the clothes she chose, then you will never survive this breakup. Get rid of everything connected with that relationship. Delete the music that played on a date with her! Your ex is no longer in your life, so get rid of all reminders about her.
You will feel liberated, it will become much easier as you declutter your life from those memories. All your photos both printed and those in the laptop should be erased or thrown away. Even the perfume she has given you will remind about her. Do not visit places where you have been together for a certain time, live a new bright life. Blacklist her in all social networks, delete your ex-girlfriend from friends and erase her phone number. Cross her out of life.
2. Go on vacation
A great way to reboot is to have a good rest. Change the atmosphere, get rid of everyday worries, be left to yourself. But don't go there for yourself! Take your friends and in no case stay alone, otherwise, this trip will turn into depression. You need to party and have fun, so make sure your company is ready to have some wild, and you will not have time to think about the ex. Fill the trip with adventures and events. Do not sit in the room for a minute. In a new place, you will gain strength and energy to start your new life after returning.
3. Take on new hobbies
You will need to change the daily routine, which you have been used to living with a partner. It can help in learning how to handle a breakup when you still love them. Because your goal is to take care of your free time at least the next three months. Do that mountain of paperwork you needed to finish but had no time, improve your skills in something or take on a new project. Besides, you can start visiting guitar lessons, tango dances, or cooking courses. If you want to - sign up for a powerful working out program in a nearby gym.
Combine all that you like, and that you have long wanted to do. Make your life bright and full of emotions with new people and like-minded friends from your past life. If you can’t decide what to do with your free time, dedicate it to improving yourself and your personality!
What to Do After a Bad Breakup?
Here are some obvious and not so things you should make yourself try to know how to deal with a bad breakup. Some of them are easy, others are not, but staying in a long-termed depression is never the way out.
Live. We understand that this is not really unexpected advice. But in fact, all the recommendations to start a new business, do good, pursue a career, or adopt a cat are just ways to get distracted. Let's take it as a fact: you broke up, you can feel good, bad, terrible, great. But you are still alive. So, live.
At every moment when you want to crawl under a blanket, hide, wake up when it's over, you should live. Tell yourself, “This is me, this is my face, my body, my work, my children, my cats, my dogs. I haven't disappeared because someone left or something ended. I still have my life. I am alive." Do not escape from the sensitivity, meet with the pain too. Society and the world teach us not to come into contact with what hurts, but numbness is the same paralysis: the less you feel, the less you live.
Accept your own mistakes. You will be given a lot of advice: do not call her, call her, tell her everything, do not tell her anything, schedule a hundred dates, have a drink, buy a new outfit, make a new haircut. In any way, you will act illogically for others. Perhaps, even the way you consider unnecessary and wrong. Some decisions are made under the influence of the moment, rather than a qualitative study of current conditions. Take it. And take everything you did wrong in the past, do not blame yourself for not saving your relationships, just learn a lesson for the future and avoid those mistakes further.
If you feel bad, do not be afraid. Yes, you feel bad, and there is no other reality. You suffer, cry, or pray. If a loved one was important for you and good, it should be bad, and you cannot even imagine how to recover from a bad breakup. When you lose property or money, you get upset, but it doesn’t hurt. And when you lose a person, it is a hundred times more painful. But this means that you had something valuable. You can, of course, cry and consider that the end of the world has come. But do not stick to the past. Over time, this fact will become more important. The sooner you appreciate it, the better.
Write a list. All psychologists recommend writing lists. Structuring a situation helps cope with the chaos and a high level of feelings: when we make lists, the analytical part of the brain works more. In addition, the estimate of the repair is always useful. The thing that will help the most is concluding a list of the worst attributes of your ex, focus more on her bad sides and do not carry only the good memories. After you finish, you will not feel so attached to this person anymore. Make all your hatred escape, it can take time but make a full quality list, describe how painful it was, how many times they made you suffer and then you'll feel the ease.
Remember: there are no irreplaceable people. Keep in mind your good experiences before meeting with this person and without her. There are no such? This couldn’t be true. And what about your very favorite food in childhood or the first time you saw the ocean? You lived without this person for many years: you visited parks with friends, burst out laughing, and celebrated your birthdays.
Maybe life or meeting with this person is the best thing that has happened to you at the moment. Nonetheless, it is not the only good that will be in your life.