The subject of many disputes and discussions are many aspects of the relationship between people. The topic of the permissible age gap between spouses is particularly controversial. Some people argue that the minimum age gap is a guarantee for a long-term relationship, and the couple, of course, will not have age gap relationship problems. Some other people believe that one of the spouses should be much more experienced.
The age gap in a relationship - how does it work?
Nowadays, the age gap relationship statistics show a big number of the couples in which a man is older than a woman. It is already quite a common thing. Sometimes, the age gap is almost imperceptible when the difference is 3-5 years. You can find many advantages in the age gap relationship. It is noticed that society perceives couples better if a man is older than a woman for no more than 10 years.
Although, it is not uncommon for some couples to have a 30 year age gap relationship. Is it right? Does such a relationship have a chance of success? Some people are skeptical about any age gap relationship advice, arguing that such partners are at different stages of the worldview, and therefore, no advice will help avoid the conflict situations between them. In addition, they are sure that very often, such relationships are built not on love but on the benefit of one of the partners.
On the one hand, the relationships in which a man is older than a woman are considered much stronger. A man acts as an undoubted leader, he is able to keep emotions at bay and not provoke quarrels, he is ready to provide his woman and children, to make concessions, and he knows how not to make the mistakes of youth.
On the other hand, in such relationships, the man often becomes a dictator who always has the upper hand. A woman may feel the lack of “fresh air” because a man is willing to make literally all decisions instead of her, and not all these decisions can be to the liking of the woman.
Having the age gap, it is necessary to find a compromise. Of course, if a woman is guided only by her worldview and desires, then this relationship will not have a future. In any healthy relationship, the partners should not only understand each other but also have common interests and the desire to be together.
Older men dating younger women – why is it so common?
The statistics of the dating apps and russian dating sites has confirmed the truth that single 40-year-old men start looking for a younger partner, while women of this age choose peers or older men. The same is found in the statistics of divorces for couples aged 40 to 50: men are more likely to leave a wife of the same age and quickly form a new couple after the breakup of a long-term relationship in comparison with women who are in the same situation. Talking about older men dating younger women, it is necessary to find out the other reasons besides the search for novelty that make the men start dating younger women as well as what role the age crises plays in it.
1. A wife has got older earlier. Of course, it is about the inner age and not about the date of birth. When a man is uncomfortable at home with the wife of the same age, he perceives a younger partner as an unpredictable adventure, in a good sense, in which there will be passion, romance, and adrenaline. Imagine the gap in perception when a man buys tickets to Paris, as a surprise, for his wife and young mistress. Who has more chances to show a disapproving reaction, something like, "Why didn’t you say earlier?", "I have things to do" or "That's ridiculous. You have just thrown money away." Internal old age comes at a time when you forget about such thing as spontaneity.
2. It is the second (or even the third) time of adolescence of an old man. They say that men dating younger women get the best rejuvenator. Although, in fact, it is more likely that men feel younger thanks to the opportunity to make a choice in favor of younger partner and dramatically change their lives. Today, it is possible to describe this step with a help of the fashionable notion "getting out of a comfort zone." However, it may be a banal desire to realize that your life is in your hands like when you were 18 years old. This can explain the divorce "out of nowhere" when everything looks perfect between partners, but one of them understands that their dreams have not been realized, and old age is close. In this case, neither sense of duty nor pity prevents radical actions, and the new love affair is perceived as an escape, as an opportunity to be "on a roll" again and make up for lost time.
3. Authority. A man wants very much to have authority in his woman’s eyes, and this desire subconsciously pushes him to choose a younger partner. Much younger girls are able to perceive men more seriously. For her, he is the only possible leader, he can give good advice that she will follow. Nothing brings such pleasure for a man as a sense of his importance, leadership, wisdom and when a girl follows his advice. Almost all old men dating younger women want to experience this moment of satisfaction of the internal “ego.”
4. The sexual side of the question. When men are between 40 and 50 years, some of them experience another crisis, which psychologists associate with the fear of losing sexuality. This age range is about the so-called male menopause that, in fact, does not bring them such hormonal torments in comparison with women’s sufferings, but the very awareness that sexual functions are about to decline is developing into something like a phobia. They are afraid to lose their ability to have sex and, in order to overcome this fear, they seek confirmation of their sexual power in many different ways. Someone spends hours watching porn, someone is desperately looking for love affairs on the side, someone is getting hooked on sex toys and non-traditional types of sex, and another one is looking for a much younger girl. If you are one of these men who dream about young girls, you should better look for some tips for dating younger women.
5. Society is on their side. A wealthy man in good shape and with several gray hairs on his head is perceived as a trophy, a gift of fate and the mature wine. He evokes a response from a wide female audience, from his peers of the same financial level to clever nymphets who are looking for a sponsor and a "life coach." Thus, the category of men who are between the ages of 40 and 50, and who can be called a "good catch" has the much broader choice and much greater temptations. Of course, they like and want to feel youth and novelty in their hands expecting that the surrounding people will support them and praise in this decision.
Why younger women like older – the other side of the problem
Sooner or later, a big part of the young girls feels a sharp disillusionment with the guys of the same age. They think that young guys are not true men because they are obsessed with computers or cars, and there's nothing to talk about with them. It is not new that everyone wants to have sex with a young beauty. However, after all, every girl dreams of pure great love that will happen with the one and only and for the rest of her life. If a girl agrees to have sex with a man, then she is either drunk or in paying tribute to his intelligence. She has sex not with the most brutal but with the smartest.
She will be cruelly disappointed because he is an intellectual guy, but he is a terrible lover. It's time to take an aversion to physical intimacy for a long time. Unfortunately, sometimes, it happens. "The light at the end of the tunnel" appears when a girl becomes a student, and she is surrounded not only by peers but also by older men. So, do younger women like older men? Surely, yes, and there are some reasons for it.
The sense of security. From a psychological point of view, every woman dreams of being a little girl, who receives maximum care and warmth. Childlike feelings make many girls have a relationship with a more responsible man. This is an ideal option if a woman does not have the opportunity to solve problems on her own, and a wise man is ready to do that for both of them.
Financial independence. Why younger women like older men? What does attract them? First, of course, it is the financial side of the matter. If the period of romantic courtship begins, then a man always pays for dinner in a cafe or a restaurant, he gives expensive presents regularly, as well as fulfills the wishes. And how can a man provide a future family if he has chaos in his head, if he does not know what his status is, what he would like to do, and he does not have any financial stability?
Stronger relationships. Even despite the fact that many relationships break up due to the age gap, according to statistics, such relationships are stronger than between peers. Younger women like older men because when they have the age gap of more than 10 years, a man is ready for compromises and concessions, not paying attention to small vagaries. This is important for a family life because young people of the same age category are selfish in their relation to each other.
Life experience. A girl feels that a man likes her, and she is blissed-out. She doesn’t reflect on the consequences, there are only blindness and euphoria. It is another reason for the attraction of young girls to adult men, they have life experience, including sexual. This man already knows perfectly well what and how to do. She has a young girl's body, full breasts, and an amazing smell. Of course, a man is driven mainly by passion and lust. And the girl is cheerful, beautiful and inexperienced, she is not spoiled yet. However, she will have an inevitable subsequent insight of the whole situation, especially if he is married, and a young woman in love will make an attempt to take out the man from the family. As a rule, these attempts are doomed to failure. Nonetheless, nobody thinks about that when you are young, you love, and you find a brave and experienced adult man.
Intelligence. Finally, this is one of the main reasons that make the girls choose older men. A girl is attracted by a smart mind that she hasn’t seen communicating with her peers. The girl not only becomes a woman in the physiological sense with an older man, she greatly expands the horizon and the meager intellectual baggage. She begins to look at the world differently blooming like a flower bud.
Is it possible to have the happy ending?
Nowadays, many happy couples have a large age gap. To have such a relationship, people should have the same psychological type, common interests, worldviews, and love. If you love each other, then all the problems and complexities of the age gap can be overcome. However, everyone should understand that sooner or later, the age will take the cost. One day, a brutal forty-year-old macho will turn into a gray-haired old man swallowing pills and demanding a hot-water bottle when a woman will be still young and good-looking.