The Connection Between Woman's Sexual Fantasies and Emotional Needs
Top Facts About Sexual Fantasies
A group of experts from Texas and Sorbonne Universities conducted a study on the matter of what are sexual fantasies in general and female sexual fantasies in particular.
As it turned out, 71% of girls, ladies and even mature women, who keep thinking about sex, want their lovers to express themselves in bed as rapists. Besides, women who have forced sex fantasies describe them very precisely, showing that they know exactly what they wish for. 28% of them wanted to be forced to oral caress, 16% - to anal sex, 17% wanted to be forced to have sex with another woman, and 9% of girl's sexual fantasies are of to have oral sex with a partner of the same sex.
Sexologists believe that about 40% of russian women have such sexual fantasies at least once a month. And 20% of them dream about being "raped" at least once a week. Psychologists say that a woman throughout her sexual life makes attempts to make at least some of women's sexual fantasies come true. A long unfulfilled fantasy may lead to stress, extramarital affairs, and even divorce.
The presence of sexual fantasies suggests that you have a desire to have sex, an intention, you are spending time thinking about it, and that's great. Fantasies develop sexuality, allow you to diversify sex, get to know your partner and yourself. When you fantasize, you represent something desirable. Thus, fantasies play an important role in the process of serif-identification. If we fantasize about sex, then fantasies can stimulate us to act and implement them. If there are no fantasies at all, you need to think about this.
However, there is another point of view. There are people who are so immersed in their sexual fantasies, and these fantasies are so pleasant and energetically charged, that they never reach realization. This may indicate a fairly infantile personality structure, then fantasies will be a way to escape from reality. A person can not get what he wants, because he is afraid to risk and try what he fantasizes about.
What Are The Most Common Female Fantasies?
All women dream about things they are embarrassed to admit even to themselves. We have come up with a list of sexual fantasies for you. Here are 7 most popular sexual fantasies among women.
Threesome sex (with two men)
According to sexologists, it is rather natural for a woman to have several partners to choose from. This is a healthy evolutionary approach. In the wild, female animals are the ones who choose. Therefore, threesome sex with the opportunity to leave the choice to mother nature is a very attractive idea. They say that this situation is archetypical, it is genetically programmed and has a long history: from the times of wild tribes, ritual dances, and orgies. In other words, sex with several men is understandable, physiological but... a long-shot dream.
Besides, threesome sex is first of all attractive thanks to its immorality in terms of social values. Well, the condemned is the most desirable. Take into account the inability (or low probability) to implement such an experience, and you see how threesome sex gets the first line. You cannot come to your boyfriend’s fellow and offer, ‘Will you be the third one?’ On the other hand, what are the chances that one of them will agree to do it at all? After all, according to rumors, guys are extremely oppressive about extra testicles in bed with a woman. It is not a surprise that 2 girls are a more attractive threesome for men.
According to sexologists, women's top sexual fantasies are often associated with the idea of dominant and submissive sexual roles. These include the desire to be tied, to be forced to wear a blindfold, and the desire to be a sex slave. Today women are emancipated; they successfully manifest themselves in areas that were once considered to be exclusively masculine. And so they intuitively want to be a real woman at least sometimes, and not to take any important decisions. Besides, all she needs to do is to give a hint. Being tied up means not be responsible in sex.
Recently I came across an interesting study, giving the analysis of the mechanisms of female satisfaction. It has shown that orgasm depends on the part of the brain involved in decision-making. The bigger part is shut down, the brighter orgasm you get. Therefore, a less responsible sex leads to a better pleasure.
Sex in the wild
According to sexologists, it is easy to analyze this fantasy, considering those relationships we had when we were young. Usually, teenagers have no place to go if they want to stay alone and not enough pocket money to get a room. Therefore, forests, beaches, and parks are rather popular places when two loving teenagers can spend some time kissing and hugging each other and even have sex. The idea is that sex in the wild is associated with first erotic experiences. Therefore, such is one of those common sexual fantasies. It will be fair to add that sex in the wild is another form of compromise with their own conscience: on the one hand, you do not plan to show your naked body in public, and on the other hand, realize that this is exactly what may happen. Adrenaline, multiplied by vertigo, makes such an experience unforgettable.
According to sexologists, this fantasy is one of the most popular women sexual fantasies. This is another manifestation of the submissive role. However, if the question sounds like, “Do you want to be raped for real?" 100% of women will say no. However, a foreplay script with a raping scene is rather sexy. This is an acceptable and often desirable option for women.
Sex with a woman
According to sexologists, girls are much more likely to get involved in something like bisexual relationships. Imagine two girls dancing with each other during the prom. Fine? Yes. And two boys? Not really. Plenty of girls consider homoerotic relationships (without actually having sex) to be fine, and the fantasy about having sex with a woman in adulthood is a manifestation of youth impressions. While gay sex among men is considered to be inappropriate. Anyway, having a fantasy about gay sex does not mean, she really wants it for real.
As for me, this is a great fantasy! Women generally pay a lot of attention to each other's appearance. They discuss whose butt is better and whose tits are bigger. According to my observations, girls start creating such fantasies and implement them before they start dealing with the opposite sex or after they become disappointed in it. Sex with a woman seems to be a manifestation of mutual understanding, tenderness, and love.
Sex with a blindfold
The main thing for a girl in sex is to concentrate on her feelings. And this, alas, is a rather complicated task for the majority of us, especially if we have too many distractions. It's awful, but girls often have creepy and anti-sexual images in their heads when they close their eyes during foreplay. We think about his nose hair and other ugly stuff instead of dreaming about sex. Turning the light off, by the way, is another helpful tool here (if blindfold is too much for you).
Being a sex slave
According to sexologists, the slave fantasy is another variation of submissive and dominating sex. Women understand that almost any man would love to dominate. Unfortunately, a great number of men today are not ready to compete with women and show their masculine traits. Besides, the desire to obey is a chance for a man to feel that strong and powerful. Women have enough power and control in their everyday lives. Therefore, they are ready to obey at night and associate their top sexual fantasies with it.
Sexual Fantasies And Emotional Needs: What's The Connection?
The intimate side of life is a very important part of relationships between men and women. Sex is about pleasure, romance, self-affirmation, and procreation. Intimacy is how we express love. What is the difference between male and female sex? Is sex an emotional or physical need?
Scientists have been disputing for decades whether sex for a woman is a purely physiological or a psychological pleasure? The truth is in the middle: intimate life gives us both psychological and physiological pleasure. The thing is that women’s sexual arousal begins in their heads, and ends in intimate body parts.
This makes women sexually different from men, who have sex for sex. However, let’s keep in mind that common female sexual fantasies are not so different from male dark sexual fantasies. Anyway, men consider intimacy as a kind of physical activity that brings great pleasure. Female sexuality is a more complicated process. It is not enough for us to simply get a discharge. Our strange sexual fantasies may tell more than how to turn us on. Psychologists believe that each fantasy is based on our inner desires and deep intentions. Thus, weird sexual fantasies of men to make a sex video and upload it to the Internet are based on their inner desire to show other males their power. You get the idea.
Sex and Emotions
We strive for physical and emotional pleasure, a complete fusion with our partner. Orgasm in its pure form, without strong feelings for the partner, is less delicious than the one, enriched by emotional attachment to the man.
Of course, a woman does not need to be madly in love with her partner, to spend the night with him. But during sex, physical pleasure is very closely intertwined with the emotional one. It is the emotional part which makes it possible to achieve complete satisfaction. According to sexologists, some women need emotional intimacy so hard that they may be totally satisfied during the foreplay.
It is considered that the females pay less attention to what their body asks for when it comes to sex. Well, this is a false statement - ladies need sex as much as men do. The key thing is that the desire for intimacy in women depends on the phase of the menstrual cycle and the concentration of hormones in the blood. This is why a lady can be crazy about your caresses one day and be totally cold about sex with you a few days later.
Some researchers even suggest a theory telling that female orgasm is a mistake, a kind of side effect. Of course, such a theory only confirms the illiteracy of such theorists.