According to various statistics, from 40% to 60% of marriages end in divorce in the Western World. Can you imagine how many millions of beautiful women are raising children alone? There are a lot of cases when men date women online and then understand that those girls have children. Someone condemns such a relationship, others take this situation calmly. So, is it worth starting a relationship in such a situation? And how to successfully date a single mom?
How to date a single mom: simple steps
For a woman, the birth and upbringing of a child is the most important process in life. But it often happens that she has to cope with all the difficulties alone since her baby doesn’t have a dad. There are various reasons for this. But even a woman with a child is, first of all, a woman who wants to love and be loved. She also wants warmth, attention, and compliments. So, how to date a single mom?
Don’t play with a single mom
Be honest with her. Say “no” to pathetic speeches, mountains of compliments, flattery, and photos in a girls gallery when you stay alone. Do you like her? Tell her straight about it! Are you afraid that you will not improve your relationship with her child? Share your fears. She will definitely advise you something. You have to understand that if the woman likes you, then, most likely, she will do everything for you and will be grateful because you accept her with the child and make a significant contribution to providing for the family. So, do you understand that such a girl can’t be deceived? You either build strong relationships or not even try to interest and attract her. She has no time for meaningless quarrels, intrigues, and insults for any reason. In such a relationship, everything has to be practical.
Be honest and open to her
Although it is rather unnatural to seriously discuss expectations of the future, it is a conversation that should be held as early as possible when it comes to a woman raising a child alone. When a single mother starts dating someone, she usually looks for an honest and open man who will give her hope for the future and with whom she can be herself. She wants a good pastime. Such women often go on dates, counting on a long-term relationship. So, how much time before the date to ask a single mom out is needed? Well, first of all, you should understand whether your feelings are mutual. If you think that you are a good couple, then don’t delay and do it as soon as possible.
When a relationship has already begun, it is unacceptable to resort to radical changes in your appearance or character. You need to understand that if a woman agreed to a relationship, which means you managed to hook her with something, you can deprive her of what interests her. If you don’t know how to communicate with a child, don’t try to look like a tutor just because you think that all adults behave like that. If you have never dated a single mother, don’t pretend that you are aware of this issue and know how to act. Just be yourself. It is better than pretending to be someone you’re not.
Take it one step at a time
First, you need to find out if a woman has any feelings for you. For this purpose, guys often resort to the opportunity to find it out from close friends of their chosen one about her preferences. When you spend the first time together, try to get to know the woman better. If you have a good sense of humor, then make some jokes. It is important that the lady, being near you, feel complete peace of mind, she should feel comfortable. Show interest in her children, but take your time. Gradually learn about what they both like, how they behave in different situations – and then by the time you meet, you will be fully equipped. This is how to ask a single mom on a date. Don’t worry, if the relationship develops not as quickly as you want. Just be patient.
Get to know the kids only after you are positive you want to be with this person
Don’t demand to introduce a child to you. This applies to guys who are not in a serious relationship. When it seems to them that they need to get acquainted with a child of a woman with whom they meet from time to time, but at the same time, they are not at all eager to know him or her. A single mother will be much calmer if her baby will not know about such a man who prefers to stay away. The divorced woman prefers to be silent about your existence than explain to the child that “this guy can’t go to the circus with us”.
Tips for dating a single mom
When you meet a woman raising a child alone, everything can be much more complicated than it seems at first. You are not dating a lady but also applying for a place in her family.
Well, is the mission that is called “a single mom: how to date” possible? Yes, it is. But if you fall in love with a woman with a child, you have to learn some important rules of dating. And here they are:
Let your women discipline her children
How to date a single mom as a single dad? Even if you also have children but start teaching a single mother how it’s best to raise her child from the first meetings, then your dates will not end in anything real. Understand that “motherhood” is her territory, the ticket to which you need to earn. Therefore, don’t be surprised that she will perceive you with hostility when you try to discipline her child, tell her what classes a kid should attend, how a child has to act, and so on. Doing so, you encroach on her “mother” territory. Moreover, in her memory, bad associations with her ex-husband or his parents may arise; she’d reckon nothing nice about the person who’d constantly give pieces of advice on the upbringing of her child.
Offer emotional support
How to date a busy single mom? She had long learned how to change bulbs, repair children’s toys and communicate with workers on tire fitting, but this doesn’t mean that she doesn’t need your help and support. She has a million things to do. But she set aside some of them to spend time with you. In general, you have to make her life easier, and you don’t need to put a lot of effort into it: prepare dinner, wash the dishes, make sure everything in the house works properly, etc. In the end, massage her or make her a bath to help her relax after a hard day. But most importantly, you have to support her emotionally. If she wants to tell you how much she is tired, pet her a bit; if she says that she is in a bad mood, then don’t make it even worse, and so on.
Listen to your intuition
Before you start a relationship with a woman with a child, soberly assess your abilities to become not only a husband for your chosen one but also a friend for her child. Do you like children? Are you tolerant and condescending to their pranks? Or do you try to avoid them? Are you ready to shoulder dozens of problems related to raising a child? If you don’t like children at all and don’t know how to communicate with them, then marrying a woman with a child is unlikely to bring you happiness. Remember that feelings between a woman and a man undergo changes, passions fade, while love between the child and the mother remains. Are you ready to refuse your freedom in this case?
Stay clear of any drama with her ex
It’s better not to go into this jungle. Of course, such conversations can’t be avoided because it is in a woman’s nature. They sometimes like talking about their exes. But in such situations, just listen and don’t give tips that can then play against you. Instead, rehearse a neutral facial expression in advance, nod, and find ways to subtly change the topic of conversation. You should understand that the less often you mention the name of her ex-spouse, the more pleasant your relationships will be. Every woman (especially if she has a child) is looking for a good man who can be a nice father in the future. So, try not to spend your energy on her ex-man.
Accept that her top priority will always be her children
When a single mom is dating a childless man, she hopes that he will understand that a child is her priority. Yes, no matter how rude it may sound. She makes big sacrifices, experiences pain and daily copes with a bunch of routine things so that her child has everything necessary for a comfortable life. You have to try to be sensitive to the fact that the child is her number one priority. Don’t expect her to be at the forefront among those who wish to fulfill your desires. If you need constant confirmation of feelings from your partner, then you are simply not ready for a romantic relationship with a single mother.
Dating a single mom: common mistakes
As a rule, such girls have already seen enough in their life and know that men can act unfairly towards them, therefore, all their feelings are aggravated, and they are always ready to defend themselves. So, it is quite difficult to win the heart of such a lady.
Love relationships are not only a territory in which people receive pleasure and approval, but also becomes a field of mistakes. It’s very easy for a guy to make a mistake, which he initially considered the right thing.
Recommendations on how to prevent mistakes when dating a single mom are below:
Don’t freak out over time
Every man has to understand that single women are not at all like all the other ladies who have no children. When you answer the question of whether to build a relationship with a single mother, you should realize that you have to put up with the presence of another important person for the woman –her child. Some men are not ready to take the responsibility of caring for the baby, and therefore don’t dare to establish a relationship with a child’s mother. If you feel that you are ready for a serious relationship or love a woman so much that you are ready to love her son or daughter, and then nothing hinders your relationships. But if you are not sure that you can cope with it, then just don’t start this relationship. A breakup will hurt a woman very much, especially if you don’t explain the reason and just freak out.
Don’t insist on meeting the child
Don’t try to get acquainted with children before she is sure of you. What if you don’t get along with them? She believes that instead of waiting for the moment to meet certain conditions, the best tactic will be to agree to a healthier way of acquaintance with children – without creating expectations that will later lead to disappointment. The part of a romantic relationship with another adult necessarily involves creating a friendship. So, get to know the children at this stage, spend some time together. Children don’t need to know right away that you and their mom are more than friends.
Don’t be a big spender
Yes, now you may have to feed not only yourself but also a woman and her child. It is not necessary to overspend money in front of women and leave one hundred percent tip in restaurants. On the contrary, in modern life, girls themselves are able to pay for themselves. And many of them offer to split the bill. But this doesn’t mean that you can do nothing but just spend money on what you want. Girls, as usual, realize that ordinary men are not millionaires, but even in this situation, you need to remain a gentleman. It is better to give some money to a woman and her children than look like a big spender.
Don’t drink too much
Alcohol in a relationship kills not only your health but also the health and psyche of children. Therefore, don’t be selfish. Don’t think that alcohol is more important to you. In general, people understand this and start looking for the ways to overcome this rather unhealthy habit and addiction. After all, if you are a normal, healthy, intelligent person, then a child will see authority in you. But if you drink and fail daily, then what useful things can you give a child? So, get rid of alcohol and never appear in an alcoholic state when you are with a woman and her child.
How hard is it to date a single mom? It is easy. Actually, the main thing is not whether a woman has children or not but whether you are ready to take full responsibility for having your future family and being a good father and husband. A child is a continuation of your loved one, part of herself. If you can’t take her child into your heart, then you don’t love your girlfriend that much.