When your girlfriend doesn’t look her best, it is a very delicate topic because she probably doesn’t feel her best as well. It is a problem that concerns both partners.
In a modern era of self-acceptance and body positivity, you can’t tell what’s good or bad for your bae as it is their choice. If your girl is comfortable with a little weight, who can blame her? Let her thrive and be happy as long as it's not critical. But what if you begin to dislike what you see? Should you confront your girlfriend or let it go? How to tell a girl she's "fat" without hurting her feelings? Is it correct at all?
What Provokes Gaining Weight in Women?
So before learning how to tell your girlfriend to lose weight most delicately, let's get down to a reason why women get extra pounds. Maybe this knowledge can help you view a situation differently.
You can't change your genetics after being born. The only thing you can do is to say, "Thanks, mom!" Although, they are not guilty also. Some of us just win a generics lottery, others are less happy with it. There are certain types of people who eat McDonald's after midnight and still look like Victoria's Secret models. And then, some girls eat kale, drink water, and gain three pounds within one night. But what can you do? Cut her some slack! She might've suffered enough as a fat kid at school.
If you see a beautiful girl on a single ladies dating site, and when you meet up in real life, she looks very different, don’t be surprised. It's not a catfish. A sudden increase in weight can easily be caused by stress. Stress makes our bodies go into a fight mode. It keeps every calorie as the body is believed to be in a critical position. Others just eat their pain away, not noticing how much they've already consumed. It's nothing but a coping mechanism that keeps us alive.
Diseases, such as diabetes, mess a lot with our weight. Or if we go through hormonal changes, losing or gaining weight is the first telltale sign of incontinence in your body. Women suffer from hormonal issues more than men because a lot has to do with their menstrual cycle. If something isn’t right there, changes in weight can be frequent.
Low physical activity and bad eating habits
If you have different approaches to lifestyle, it can be a barrier in relationships. For example, if you are in a good form, but your girl has recently given up on herself, you may want to do something with her lifestyle. A lazy schedule can be due to depression, lack of motivation, interest, or the absence of your compliments. Bad eating habits together with weak working ethics kill our bodies. You should put up with your girlfriend gaining weight but do it delicately and without causing too much stress.
Pregnancy and delivery
Some men dare to say, "Oh, she gained so much weight during pregnancy!" Of course, women do gain weight pre- and post-delivery, what did you expect? Giving birth to a beautiful creation takes lots of resources from her body, so she's eating for two, quite literally! Your wife probably knows everything without your notifications, but her system needs time to restore after pregnancy since it causes significant stress to a female's body.
How to Subtly Tell Her She Gained So Much Weight?
How to get your girlfriend to lose weight without insulting her? That’s a bummer! One thing you shouldn’t do is leaving an opened Google tab with a "girlfriend’s getting fat" request. Even if your girlfriend "gets fat," there are less obnoxious ways to tell her about it.
Try to focus on a health issue
How to get your wife to lose weight without triggering a body dysmorphia? Don’t mention weight at all. Women are more critical and self-aware when it comes to their appearance, so you probably will tell her nothing new. And chances are, she is more distressed with her weight than you are. Start like this, "Baby, you seem quite sad lately. I just want to see your happier and healthier version every day. Is there a way to make you happier? Because I want our couple to be on top of our game! You know what? I decided to start a healthy diet! I want to look good for you. We would be the hottest sports team.”
Show her your care
Men understand care differently. If your girlfriend is gaining weight, don’t directly address the problem and add “I am genuinely concerned!” because it seems unnecessary dramatic and harsh. Instead, actively participate in her weight loss journey. Don’t compare her to earlier photos taken 5 years ago, saying how hot she was used to looking. That would break her heart. Show her you care about her appearance but in the most positive way.
Be polite and tactful
To be polite and tactful, all you have to do is to address your issues, as if you were projecting them. Say, "Baby, I don't like how I look recently. I think I'm getting chubby! Will you be my personal trainer and help me exercise? I would love to spend more time with you doing exercises." A smart woman would understand everything without directly addressing the problem. But a dramatic girlfriend can start manipulating you with a "Are you saying I'm fat?" phrase. But stay strong. Don’t give a positive answer even if it's the truth. If you want to break it out to your overweight girlfriend, say that you've been noticing some changes, but never demand her to lose weight. In any case, finish with "I love you in any shape and form though" just to be secure.
Tips to Help Your Overweight Girlfriend and Strengthen Relationships
1. Ask your girlfriend to work out together. If you want to turn this situation from a comparison to a fruitful working process, engage in it. Even if you are not chubby, exercise with her just for solidarity. Wake her up for a jog, control her schedule on the low, be friendly and never condescending. You are not playing a strict coach who gets off from abusing people verbally and mentally. You are a fairy godmother who'll support her no matter what.
2. Set a friendly competition. Ask your girlfriend to start a challenge. Choose a fair reward. Whoever wins this competition gets a good prize. Set a period during which you'll have to perfect your bodies and mental space. Always reinforce her to be stronger, teasing and playing with your girl. Set milestones when you have to check your results. For each little step, give small gifts. Set realistic goals and expectations. Be considerate of each other’s strengths and weaknesses.
3. Start dieting together. Yes, sadly, if you want your girl to lose weight, you can’t run around the house, flaunting your bowl of chicken wings. Yes, it might be draining at first, but since you are the one who asks for a slimmer girlfriend, you should contribute to a process too. It will get easier with time and soon, you'll realize how much your body and your mindset have changed with a new diet. Your partnership will reborn on so many levels! Couples who diet together stay together.
4. Be her number one support system. It’s easy to learn how to tell your girlfriend she's fat, but consistency is something that both of you need. If you act indifferent to her trying to change a whole routine, she'll see no goal as there is no reinforcement. Also, without physical activity, you can’t get rid of excess weight, just like without having consistency with your diet. Therefore, your wife should increase her activity time to start losing calories. But what’s the problem with that? To take up sports or visit the gym daily, she must have more free time. And if your wife is the one who does the chores, stays with your children, does cooking and groceries, she can’t have time and energy to exercise. Think about it and decide how your wife can free some time for training. Take on some of the household chores, stay with the child at the time she goes to the gym, or ask someone to do it for you.
5. More outdoor activities! Do you remember the last time you two rented bikes and went to the mountains? Well, her weight loss journey can be beneficial for both of you, as the whole process brings you two together and opens so many possibilities! Go camping, do the horse riding classes, go to the beach or the countryside. Say no to boring movie nights. Take some extreme activities, do sports, be romantic, be inventive with it.
If you can proudly say, "My girlfriend is getting fat and I love it," then good for you. If you would like to see her glowing from the inside, radiating beauty and health with the new weight, then it's good for you too! It's important to stay delicate, supportive, and involved in this process. And after this journey, your relationship will be ten times stronger.