When to Get Engaged: Figuring Out the Right Time
Most women dream of a wedding, especially if a couple has been together for a long time. If we look at statistics, we can see that the institution of marriage has long ceased to be something vital for us. More than 82% believe that it’s enough to live together even not getting engaged. More than 62% consider the birth of children as the only source of motivation for an official union.
Sociologists emphasize that if earlier marriage served as a social and economic guarantee of well-being for people, now it is more likely a sign of emotional affection and love. That is why many single women so dream of a wedding, imagining how a man will stand on one knee in front of them, say about his love, and offer to become his wife. However, this does not happen to everyone. And even if a man decides to say goodbye to a bachelor's life and start looking for wedding ideas, he may continue to torment himself with the question, “Am I ready to get engaged for real?” Many guys are afraid to be rejected because it destroys not only their self-esteem but also dreams of living together with their significant other.
How Long to Wait Before Getting Engaged?
Nowadays, many marriages end in divorce. A breakup is a huge stress for a person, and for this reason, people think about their family life most carefully, trying to consider all possible problems and failures. Only a few people are in a hurry to start a family as early as possible: most understand that at a young age, a person is still inexperienced, inclined to let their feeling come over them, and not to manage them with the help of common sense. In youth, more and more people are eager to devote time to education, as well as careers and finding their place in life. When do most people get engaged? Psychologists believe that the average age to get engaged is from 26 to 32 years. People have already graduated and got a job. In this case, it is about two successful individuals who are ready to go together hand in hand and know when to get engaged.
Answering the question, “When should you get engaged?” psychologists, scientists, as well as extras indicate that you should date a partner from one to four years before marriage. The figures are vague, but those couples who date for so long are least likely to divorce.
In fact, even reaching this conclusion, psychologists do not advise adhering to only these time frames. To enter a successful marriage, it is not enough just to date for a certain period, the most important thing is to understand whether you can really get along together. It is necessary to have time to get used to each other, live together, get to know each other in quarrels and reconciliations, and only after that decide on questions to ask before getting engaged. Answering the question, “How long to wait before getting engaged?” one should realize that the crucial role is played not by the amount of time you are together but by the amount of communication.
Before making a proposal, you should get to know each other as much as possible, communicate, argue, discover new qualities in your partner, learn about the future and, most importantly, find out whether your views on life match. It is sad to watch the breakup of those who just did not realize how much different they are at once, and that their goals and desires do not match at all.
Talking about those who, on the contrary, don’t know how to get engaged, they will face the same destiny – a breakup. All this happens because the partners have been together for so long that they simply lose interest in each other because they haven’t moved to the next stage in their relationships on time. However, all couples and their relationships are unique, and there are exceptions everywhere.
There is no direct and accurate answer to the question, “How long should you wait to get engaged?” You should not rely solely on the conclusions of scientists because each couple is unique, and everyone has their own way. It is important to find a middle ground – you should neither hurry up nor delay getting engaged for many years. You should just feel when the time has come for making a proposal, contrary to statistics and numbers.
Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged With Your Beloved One
Have you long wanted to make a proposal to your beloved woman? Or maybe you have got tired of her reproaches that nothing is clear between you? In any case, a proposal is a crucial step, for which you need to prepare in advance. No matter how great you are together, passion tends to fade away, and then what will your relationship be based on? Think about whether the girl has alike values and whether you will be able to create a strong connection. To prevent all risks, reflect on the questions to ask before you get engaged. You should be 200% sure that you are ready for such a serious step.
1. How do your lifestyles match?
Will you be able to fit into each other's life, enriching it qualitatively? Love is a wonderful stunning thing, but it’s hard to get along with a person who is different in many ways from you. Is your significant other a vegan while you are a meat-eater? Does she love active traveling while you are a homebody? Is she an extremely creative person who cannot imagine her life without dancing, drawing, and opera? Or she runs a large corporation and prefers female-led relationships while you are not going to give in and lose your leadership position in the family? In such relationships, someone will have to adapt and change their lifestyle. Are you ready for such sacrifices or expect that everything will work itself out? You should find out such things beforehand before it’s not too late.
2. Do you share her interests?
Everyone wants to find a soul mate with whom they can share hobbies. Think about whether you are interested in the company of your woman, can you chat for days on end or just keep quiet for pleasure? What is your compatibility? What unites you besides intimacy and domestic amenities? A spark in a relationship is not a crucial thing. You can fill in the missing fragments with social achievements, communication with friends, giving birth to a child. But it will not last forever. Can you respect and live with someone who is not interesting to you as a person?
3. Why do you have a crush on her?
One of the most crucial questions that you should ask yourself is, “What does make you have a crush on her?” Someone find this question weird, but, nevertheless, it still matters. The answer, “I love her simply because I love her” isn’t valid. If you claim that you sincerely love her, then you must know why you do it. What is the foundation for your strong feelings? Are you impressed with her beauty, or you like her mental abilities? Or maybe she treats you like no one else? Yes, each of us has our own criteria for choosing a partner, we are looking for a faithful, kind, smart, and attractive person. However, to hear, “I love you because my whole life has changed thanks to you” is priceless. And you should make sure that you can say these words to your girlfriend.
4. Why do you want to spend your life with her?
The answer like, “My love for her is the only reason” is not suitable. You are a grownup person, so you should realize that passion cannot last forever and be as strong as at the beginning of your communication when you are getting to know each other better. So, you need other reasons. You must understand why you want to grow old together with that woman. This seemingly simple question will not only contribute to the assessment of your own importance in the life of a partner but will also help you realize what life vicissitudes you are ready to share with the woman. You set small goals and achieve them together.
5. Is she ready to develop with you?
Life does not stand still; circumstances are changing rapidly, and it is necessary to keep pace with these changes. Your future spouse should be aware that you are not going to turn into a couch potato, devoting yourself exclusively to the home, watching TV and stuff. Sooner or later, you will want to get out of a cozy family nest, climb a career ladder, achieve some heights, hang out with friends, and feel important not only in a shared apartment but also in the big world too. So, the question of whether your beloved woman is ready to develop with you or at least not impede your personal growth is of great importance. Anyway, marriage is not the end of your existence as a person. You should continue to grow and try to fulfill your dreams.
6. Will you stick together in times of trouble?
As you know, life is like a zebra, so the white times will certainly become dark one day, and nobody knows how soon this will happen. Each of you needs to know that if you find yourself in a difficult situation, your beloved one will stay with you, will be your support and a shoulder to cry on. Otherwise, by and large, why is it needed at all? If this is true love, no difficulties should prevent you from being together, on the contrary, problems only bring you closer. But here are the questions, "Is your partner ready for the difficulties? Does she agree to share with you not only joy and success?"
7. Are you ready to give up some things for the sake of a relationship?
Since childhood, the word “love” has been associated with love for the dearest ones. And it’s very difficult at times to switch to feelings for the opposite sex. In childhood, love was unselfish. They loved us for what we were and did not demand anything in return. And having matured, we understand that in our life, we need to sacrifice something in the name of love, for example, personal time, habits, or style. However, when love is mutual, then all our sacrifices become justified. To save your relationships, you need to be able to properly prioritize. No, this does not mean that you will certainly have to say goodbye to friends, hobbies, and all that you loved before. However, you will have to make more compromises.
What Is the Right Time Between Getting Engaged and Marriage?
An engagement, which is so popular in Western European countries and the USA, is a kind of preparation for a wedding celebration. What is engagement? It is mutual official recognition of the feelings of partners towards each other, a formal announcement of their readiness to become husband and wife, a man becomes a groom, and a woman becomes a bride while a wedding is an official event, accompanied by legal registration of relationships. Spouses have responsibilities to each other and future offspring, responsibility for the happiness and prosperity of the family. Engagement is the natural precursor to marriage registration and wedding celebration. How long before getting engaged?
There are no clear time criteria that separate the wedding from the engagement: this period can last a month, six months, and a year. Of course, usually, people don’t get engaged one day and go to the registry office the next day (although such cases do occur). The time between the engagement and the official registration of the relationship is given both to test the strength of love, and for elementary preparation for wedding celebrations.
It is traditionally believed that no less than a month but no more than six months should pass from the engagement to the wedding: this time is enough to make sure the sincerity and reciprocity of feelings are real and prepare everything necessary for the wedding. Or get disappointed in each other and break off the engagement and love relationships. If the engagement lasts about six months, this is more than enough for the preparation of a very large-scale wedding with many invited guests and a lot of festive events.
Signs It's Too Soon to Get Engaged
It is believed that a man should make a proposal to his girlfriend during the first three years of a romantic relationship. Otherwise, it is treated as indecent and disrespectful behavior. But this is only an idea, adhering to which may be wrong. After all, why should a man get engaged if he is not ready or does not want to? And it is not only about the absence of the desire to move the relationship to a new level. How soon is too soon to get engaged?
You have been dating for several months
It’s your first serious relationship, and it seems to you that you have met the love of your life. You have been dating for three months, and you already feel that you will never meet anyone better. When you don’t have enough experience, but there is a hormonal cocktail in your veins – you should better postpone an engagement and try to make sure that your feelings are mutual and strong enough to enter a committed official relationship.
You are sure that you hate kids
A man who constantly insists that he hates children is simply not yet ready for marriage. Giving birth to kids is one of the important stages in the life of every couple if both of you are not child-free for some reason, of course. Children shouldn't become your universe, but when you are not ready for them, it’s easy to imagine the worst possible scenarios. With age, most men still change their attitude towards children, especially when their small copy is born. Marriage should embody mutual sympathy, the love of a man and a woman. If you do not experience this, then it will be tormented for both.
You cannot imagine your life with one woman till the end
The mere idea that the same person will be nearby 24/7 for all your life makes you feel panic. Although, in fact, everything isn’t that bad. You just need to find the very woman with whom it will be nice to wake up early in the morning and see her in any state. And when this person appears nearby, this thought will cease to frighten you. And on the contrary, it will be comfortable and calm from the very idea that it is forever.
You want to get engaged to “annoy” your ex-girlfriend
Of course, this is completely childish, and it’s the most stupid and awful thing you can do. And such a reason for marriage shows unequivocally that it is worth thinking about such a step later. This is a serious life step, and you will have to live and share everything with a spouse. Besides, the chances are high that your ex-girlfriend has already forgotten about your love affair and moved on, while you are still at the same place, coming up with a revenge plan.
You cannot find common activities that both will enjoy
Living together means that people will often spend time together and do something they both like. Some couples like to cook or clean together, while others prefer walking and watching a movie together. But, in any case, there will be such moments, and after the wedding, you should know what exactly you could do together. Do your hobbies or preferences in something coincide? It is important to understand and find these activities and interests before you get engaged.
Your Love Is Almost Here
The search for your soulmate can take some time, so there is no need to get desperate if some attempts have ended in failure. The practice shows that you never know when you meet your significant other. It can happen at the most unexpected moment when you have already let it flow and got prepared to live the rest of your life with two dogs. When you meet someone special, who will make your heart beat faster and your soul sing, you will have no doubts whether it is worth getting engaged. So, listen to your gut and keep searching.