When you enter adult life, the first ten years pass like a day. A 20 years old man and a man in his 30s is the same man. Yes, he has got an education and gained some authority. He faces the first disappointments, but his existential essence does not undergo any changes. He is captive of small tactical tasks, he is still the same ambitious boy, who is still rushing through life in the afterburner mode, and this positive dope will last for a long time. Another ten years. When he will be still interested in girls looking for dates more than anything else.
As a rule, until the age of forty, a man is driven by instinct. Like a little bear who walks after his mother for the first four years of his life and only then starts walking on his own, a man under forty needs driving lights on the horizon. But now you are already 35, the red lights in front begin to slowly move away, while the white ones have already loomed behind, they are getting closer, and the red ones are farther away, and now, finally, they've completely disappeared, and you switch on main-beam headlamps. This is the very moment when life is just beginning.
Myths to Debunk When You Are 40
I bet when you were little, you thought that the phrase, “Life is just beginning at the age of 40” was created by screenwriters. After all, they must somehow comfort the decrepit half of humanity who should already look for retirement ideas for men. They don’t want to tell them the truth that the most active years are left behind, and if you haven’t done anything good so far, you will never do anything. Now you might be in your 40s as well. By this age, you’ve managed to do a lot of things, and there are even more things that you haven’t done yet. The balance of the good and the bad leaves much to be desired, but the most acute sensation that appears inside is perhaps what it is called “Life at 40 is just beginning.” It sounds corny, but it is the truth. However, first, you should forget about the following myths.
1. The most crucial events have already happened
Maybe you have met the love of your life, have three wonderful kids, or have climbed the career ladder, but all these achievements don’t mean that the most important events have already happened, and you are done. There are still many interesting and fascinating things to do at 40 years old. You can relax a bit and use your experience to enjoy your life to the fullest. You can start traveling, change your workplace, or do something you have always dreamed about since you were 10. It is the best time to make your dreams come true.
2. You've reached your professional peak
Many people believe that if they haven’t managed to succeed at work till 40, then they will never be able to do that after this milestone. They have already reached their professional peak (even if they haven’t reached anything), and now they should put up with their misfortune. However, if you look at the life of many famous and successful people, you will see that many of them have become successful exactly after 40, while they remained unknown losers until that age. Don’t set yourself boundaries.
3. You should choose outfits that correspond to your age
The fact that you are in your 40s doesn’t mean you should change your preferences in clothes and start dressing your age. Well, maybe your office dress code should be appropriate and match your age and position, but your everyday clothes can reflect your inner state. There is no need to look stricter and choose suits or trousers in which you will look your age if you adore the casual style and feel comfortable in it.
4. You're no longer considered sexy
It’s one of the most annoying myths that affect people’s self-esteem even though it has nothing to do with the truth. Your sexuality, as well as charisma, doesn’t depend on your age. Most men who watch their appearance and don’t ignore healthy lifestyle, look even better in their 40s. They attract both their peers and much younger girls who don’t care about the age gap since a mature man radiates positive energy, masculinity, and sexuality.
5. You will turn into a couch potato
People become lazy not because they become older but because they are lazy by nature, and age is just another excuse to do nothing. And if you are an active person who is always interested in new things, and you don’t like to spend your weekends in front of the TV set, then why do you worry that it may change? Everything depends on you and your desire to stay active, and age isn’t a stumbling block.
6. Your libido will be much lower
Even though most people believe that their intimate sphere of life will lose all its bright colors as soon as they turn 40, it has nothing to do with the truth. Actually, men in their 40s enjoy sex even more, and its frequency doesn’t change much. According to some researches, people after 30 have more intense sexual fantasies, and they are not afraid to share them with their partners and put them into practice.
True Facts About Life at 40 for a Man
Many people fear the onset of their fortieth birthday, fearing to be considered old in society. Alas, the current society is really youth-oriented in many areas, and age, experience, and wisdom are not evaluated in a proper and deserved way. It is especially difficult for women since there is an unambiguous message that a woman is almost obliged to always remain young and beautiful. Therefore, the fortieth anniversary is perceived by the fair sex as an automatic loss of attractiveness. However, it is not the case for the male part of the society who can feel much more confident at this age, they become wiser and mature. Here are some other facts about turning 40.
You are at the peak of your attractiveness
If relationships are bright and explosive in youth, then with age, everything becomes more measured, balanced, calmer. Wild passion does not overshadow everything, there is respect for the partner. Maybe it is one of the main reasons why the maximum percentage of marriage breakdowns happens at a young age. After 40, a man has more opportunities, which are supported by life experience and wisdom. Therefore, if you watch yourself, then you become attractive and desirable for women even more than 20 years ago. In fact, the period of the second youth starts from this age since there is still enough energy for adventurous things to do at 40 years old, the main thing is desire.
Your past lifestyle is important (and you will understand this at 40)
What happens when you turn 40 to your body? It is an insidious period for health. You still do not feel age, and therefore, you do not take it seriously. You can continue to work, having caught a cold, eat junk food, suffer from chronic sleep deprivation, and arrange alcoholic parties on Fridays. People in their 30s will soon regret such a lifestyle. What to expect when you turn 40? If you lead such a lifestyle, then you cannot expect anything good because your health condition will leave much to be desired. Anyway, the body does not break suddenly, everything happens gradually, and the best thing you can do for yourself is to take steps to slow down this process. Take care of your health comprehensively, include sports into your daily routine, pay attention to everything you eat, get rid of destructive bad habits. People who have had serious illnesses regret that they cannot go back and start taking care of their lifestyle as early as possible.
The whole world is still open for you
You begin to ignore glossy images and generally accepted standards in the media, which are trying to impose on you what you should be. You have already made yourself and therefore, you do not need role models, especially in terms of appearance. Who said that the fortieth anniversary is old age? This is the best time of your life when the whole world is open to you. You have finally gained wisdom, experience, and confidence. You have found your niche in this world, and you are not afraid to try something radically new. You know that the world is full of new adventures and things to do when you're 40 and single.
Important Things to Do When You Turn 40
In our fleeting time, age has only a nominal value. When you are in your 20s, you are ready to win the world over, but you are afraid of a lot, and when you are in your 40s, you have opportunities, which should be used. It is time to take everything from life and become emotionally free. You have accumulated not only years but also the necessary experience during your life. And you have learned from life lessons, for example, one of them is that there is no physical health without an emotional one. Among the advantages of a man in his 40s is the ability to live wisely, and the secret to this is the realization that you can do everything yourself. So, what are things to do when 40?
1.Analyze your life and correct your course
Talking about things to do at 40, first, it’s necessary to analyze your life and understand whether you are satisfied with it completely. Try to understand whether your lifestyle matches your ideas or maybe you would like to change certain things. It’s extremely easy to immerse yourself in routine without realizing that things haven’t already worked the way they should. What about your job, relationships, friendship? Do you want to change something because it hasn’t brought you any happiness for a long time?
2. Stop worrying about what people say
Young people tend to attach great importance to other people's rules and views. It happens that the pressure is so strong that people do things just because “they have to,” “it would be right.” If you don’t stop doing what is expected of you at the age of 30, then at 40, you will not be the person you could become. Do not let people approach your life with their standards. If the course of your life does not fit into their understanding of normality, it’s not your problem. And if your life is different, it is worth learning to enjoy it instead of feeling despair. In the end, significant people will accept you for who you are.
3.Establish a regular sleep schedule
Many people underestimate the crucial importance of sleep schedule. They tend to go to sleep late at night, having watched another episode of their favorite TV series, even though they should wake up early in the morning and go to work. Such a schedule makes them feel tired and leads to many diseases over time. A good sleep schedule can do wonders for your physical and mental health. Besides, oversleeping is the same harmful as the lack of sleep. So, it’s better not to snooze after your alarm clock goes off.
It is one of the fun things to do at 40. People of the older generation claim that one of the most serious regrets in life is about a small number of impressions. One day you also risk regretting that you spent too much money on empty pleasures and neglected trips that give an impetus to personal development and simply make us happy. The older you get, the harder it will be to get on a trip. However, the emotions that you will experience when going to a new country are akin to genuine childish delight. So, travel also has a rejuvenating effect. And do not wait for the right moment - it will never come if you do not create it in your 40s.
5. Do not make work the meaning of life
If work has replaced your family and hanging out with friends, then it's time to seriously think about the consequences of this choice. It is possible that giving up simple joys in favor of a career, you will miss so much that you will no longer catch up after 40. Think about the fact that neither promotion nor money will make you truly happy. The only reason you should spend the lion's share of your life on work is a great love for what you do. Only in this case, at the age of 50, you will say, “thank you” to yourself for spending your time exactly on what should.
6. Take care of secured golden years
At the age of 30, it seems that there is still a lot of time before retirement and therefore, people do not care about it. At 40, it’s high time to think about saving for the future. Financial advisors recommend starting taking your retirement seriously and try to make a financial push in this regard.
Sort out the important concepts, for example, the insurance and funded parts, think over your retirement plan, and control expenses and debts. Nobody but you will take care of your future. The sooner you start putting aside small but regular amounts of money for old age, the more comfortable and happier your mature age will be. This understanding is one of the most important things that come in 40.
7. Continue to develop
The decision to devote some time to your personal development may be one of the best in life. It is not necessary to refuse to attend some courses if there is not enough time for them. You can develop, reading books, attending seminars, and lectures even online. It is enough to deal with your true goals to draw up a personal development plan. Set yourself the goal of becoming a better version of yourself. Become a better friend, professional, spouse, colleague, and personality. If you continue to develop, you will be able to succeed much more than most of your peers.
8. Take a chance
Often, by the age of 40, people have stable work and committed relationships. Imagine their disappointment when they realize that this is not what they really want. 40 years can become the best time to risk changing the trajectory of destiny and start all over again if you feel truly unhappy. Listen to your inner voice and weigh all the pros and cons. Do not let fear win you over, at 40, you can still take risks, grab your chance, meet new people, change your usual way of life, or profession. If your intentions are strong, then after 10 years, you will say to yourself, “thank you” for your courage. It can become one of the good things about turning 40.
9. Keep in touch with "your" people
At this age, it is time to deal with your environment. It’s worth honestly asking yourself, “Am I stuck in meaningless relationships that don’t allow me to become happy?” And it’s worth learning how to truly value people who are truly close. Only truly meaningful relationships play a role when you are in your 40s. So, this milestone is a very good time for new acquaintances which will become the key to the happiness of all subsequent years. Learn to say no to people who have no value for your life or worse - poison it. You may have grown up in the same sandbox, but this time has irrevocably gone, focus on what you should do, and reflect better on some funny things about turning 40.
10. Be grateful
It's time to find a common language with yourself and find inner balance. If you don’t want to find yourself in your 50s with a sense of guilt for missed opportunities, imperfect feats, and broken relationships, you should learn to listen to your inner voice at 40, when you still can change. Learn to find time only for yourself, even if your house is full of children, noise, and worries. Take a walk alone, listen to music, and read books, in short, look for a way to yourself. Respect yourself, forgive, and love. Stop giving all resources to the world around you and learn healthy egoism - do something good only for yourself every day.
Just Don’t Succumb to a Midlife Crisis
As you see, there are many things to do when you turn 40, so your life is just beginning. And you shouldn’t repeat the mistake that almost everyone makes. You can’t just continue to live the way you lived to this day. You cannot pretend to change everything. Break up with a partner, buy a motorcycle, and go around the globe. It's too easy.
Then you will marry again, return to your starting position, and realize that you have just lost a lot of time. At forty, you must change. You should take, as a precious gift, all your new features and take full advantage of them. If you were engaged in screwing around until now, then you should try, finally, to do what you always dreamed of, you have nothing more to lose. If you are lucky enough to achieve success in your true field, then make another breakthrough and reach a fundamentally new level. You should sort out your feelings and experiences. You don’t need the meaning of life since you have the energy of life. There are only two ways out of a midlife crisis, you either give yourself a good kick and, finally, grow up for real, or turn this crisis into a lifelong one.